A Woman Who Knows What She Wants

If you ask the population of men in the dating world what is the #1 characteristic that they look for in a woman, most will give an answer along the lines of “a woman who knows what she wants.”  OK, great.  But, what exactly does that mean?

As I’ve matured in my relationships and my own personal development, I’ve spent some time thinking about what constitutes this phrase.  The following list contains my thoughts and beliefs on the subject.  It is certainly not all-encompassing so if you have some additions, please share with us in the comments. :)

1. Lives with a purpose. – A woman who knows what she wants has a sense of direction.  She lives her life with a vision towards her end goals and endeavors. She has a passion for something beyond herself, whether its animals, basket-weaving, corporate strategies, volunteering, etc.

2. Knows what she wants in a man. – This doesn’t refer to her preferences for his hobbies, profession or even his basic personality characteristics.  What I mean by this is that a woman who knows what she wants understands her emotional desires in a man.  Does she need a problem solver?  A king?  A warrior?  A magician?  A lover?  Does she need a man who will be patient with her emotional state or a guy who will stay rigid and tough?  These women know what will suit their needs.

3. Grounded Life Principles. – A woman who knows what she wants knows what she thinks about life.  Whether its politics, religion, her general mindset, her approach to happiness or which direction she turns at the crossroads of life’s decisions.  She seeks out knowledge, hobbies and people that strengthen and/or challenge her beliefs in order for her to more fully understand herself.

4. Decisive with the big decisions. – Life is full of choices like cities of residence, purchasing a home, career goals, the pursuit of education.  A woman who knows what she wants makes clear decisions about her major life choices.  She understands how these big puzzle pieces connect in the story of her legacy.  Once a decision is made, she stands behind it, staying grounded in her beliefs and confident in the choices that she makes.

5. Decisive with the little decisions. – I used to think that being indifferent about the little decisions in everyday life was no big deal.  It’s not like being indecisive about daily adventures, restaurants, movies, etc. makes a huge impact on the big picture. Plus, things tend to go a little easier when you’re laid back… Regardless, what I have come to realize is that if you are waking up in the morning and don’t know what you should do that day then it is probably a bad sign.  A woman who knows what she wants has passions, pursuits and priorities that keep her active in meeting the demands and goals of daily life.  She is decisive about the little things because, well, she has things that she needs to get done, and she is able to communicate those desires clearly and intentionally.

6. An understanding of her sensuality. – Often overlooked, but I think that an important feature of a woman who knows what she wants is someone who is in touch with her sensuality.  She has an authentic confidence in who she is and presents herself as a strong and vivacious individual.

*What do you think?

Galatians 6:14


Tomorrow marks the beginning of the Crossfit Open, which is a series of five workouts over the course of five weeks that will qualify individual athletes for the Crossfit Games in July.  The individual who scores the highest in the Crossfit Games is deemed the “Fittest Man (or woman) in the World.”  The picture above is of Rich Froning: 2011’s Crossfit Games winner.

Rich Froning is 5’8″ and weighs 185 pounds.  If you saw him on the street, you probably wouldn’t look twice.  He’s no ‘freak of nature,’ body-building Schwarzenegger or professional all-star.  He’s an ordinary guy with an extraordinary willpower.  In Rich’s own words, “There is nothing really unique about me.  I was just brought up doing chores and yard work which I hated at the time but I have to thank both of my parents because its made me who I am today.”

My crossfit gym has encouraged EVERYONE to sign up for the Open.  “Why?,” you ask.  It’s not because they think that EVERYONE is going to go to the Games.  That would be crazy.  They are encouraging it because EVERYONE has the potential for extraordinary moments, to get their next PR, and to push themselves beyond the limits of ordinary life.

Rich Froning grew up on a farm.  One day, he decided to buy some weights and set up a crossfit shop in his father’s barn.  He became certified, he trained extensively and two years later he became known at the Fittest Man in the World.  He didn’t start out as a bodybuilder with an insane gift of athleticism, but, what he did do, was decide one day to compete.  Just like thousands and thousands of athletes who have the chance to make that same decision tomorrow.

Since the Crossfit Open started its registration at the beginning of this month, I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard someone give me an excuse as to why they shouldn’t compete.  For why they should continue to stay out of the ‘limelight’ and within their confines of comfort.  They ask me “Why should I participate when I know that I won’t make it to the Games?” But, the only response that I can think of is… “Why should you not?”

Galatians 6:14 — May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.