This week at Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop, one of the prompts is: Introduce a pet. I figured that Ms. Kina herself might do better justice to this introduction… so here she is!
Heyyo! I’m Kina — formerly known as Sweetie by my old owner because I’m really sweet (duh). I can also be quite the princess so I’ve heard my current owner sometimes calls me Diva. Paleasee. Just cause a dog knows what she wants doesn’t mean she’s divalicious.
Anyways, speaking of owner, it’s about time she asked me to write on this dang thing. I’m only the most important thing in her life. Sometimes she sits in the living room typing away on that computer and I’m like heyyy can’t a dog get a belly rub over here? You realize you’re not actually talking to someone in person over there like rub the belly and then type, woman.
Well – let me tell you about my background cause you people love to know about others’ pasts.
I was born in South Carolina in the land of sweet tea and palm trees except I was no where near the water (which I love!) so that was stinky. I grew up to ask for stuff when I wanted it so my way of communicating with people (you crazy creatures) is to paw at their face. Need to go the bathroom – paw. Want food – paw. Want love – paw. Paw, paw, paw. To me, this makes sense. To my old owner, he didn’t like that and instead of just giving me what I wanted, he hit me! That made me very sad and scared of people like him!
After a year and a half of his craziness, he finally took me to a shelter in South Carolina where I got to meet tonsss of other dogs, which was awesome! I love other dogs. Then, one day, a big white van came and I got into a cage in the van with 30 other dogs and we drove up to Washington D.C. (the land of opportunity — or so I’ve heard). This is where I met Caitlin! She was so nice and gave me a big hug after I got out of the van.
I immediately peed.
Unfortunately, this is what I do when I’m scared. I create a urine trail because I’m nervous a person might hit me like what happened in the past! Caitlin thought this was silly, but I don’t think she understands how crazy peeps can be sometimes. Let’s take one of our most recent trips to the dog park as an example. Here are some descriptions of just a few of the people at the park that fine afternoon.
• Strange Man #1 – First of all, Strange Man #1 brought a giant Hefty garbage bag to the park as his dog poop bag. Umm, sir, I don’t know what your dog is pooping but I’m pretty sure it’s not the size of a large bucket. Grocery sized bags are probably even too large for picking up our mounds of love. He then proceeded to pick up his dogs and hold them upside down in his arms…. Yeah. A bit cray cray. I even saw him pick up another guy’s dog!! Thank gosh he didn’t try that nonsense on me. I would have peed on his a$$ — just kidding… his foot.
• Strange Woman #1 – Strange Woman #1 brought her dog to the park, which was lovely, but then decided to pick flowers (leaves?) from the bushes in the dog park. Umm I understand your apartment is in need of a little greenery, but Trader Joe’s has plants for less than $5, lady. Or, pick some flowers/leaves from a normal park! Us dogs need something to aim our pee at! Hellooo.
• Strange Man #2 – This guy did not do anything strange to dogs or plants — thank goodness – but he did chat Caitlin’s ear off and stood oddly close to her while we were at the park. She was just trying to enjoy watching me play and hanging out on her own and he just wouldn’t give up. I totally feel for her. Sometimes I’m chasing after a ball and another dog is all up sniffing my booty and I’m like whoa step back, I just want that ball! Like, time and a place, buddy; time and a place.
Anyways, I just love Caitlin to death. We are best buddies! I am so glad I came up to D.C. and she was there for me. I hope she doesn’t ever give me up!
Thanks Kina! Great introduction – and I won’t ever give you up girlll even though you paw at my face, are terrified of other humans and shed like a mad dog. Love you!