Folks – I’m not sure where my mind went with this one. Let’s just roll with it? xoxo
We need to talk about something.
There have been some people lately who called me brave. And, I need to clarify.
I am the girl who would rather let the elevator door close instead of holding it to see if someone else needs to travel up or down a few floors.
I am the girl who cried in the 5th grade because she didn’t want to go to a father-daughter dance… with her own father.
I am the girl who would rather pin pins on pinterest for hours instead of mopping my own floors.
<< I don’t consider these acts brave; in fact, I label them as cowardly. >>
When I think of bravery, my mind often drifts to things that I would never do.
This includes jumping out of a plane…
defending my country in the front lines of battle…
and dying my hair purple.
Those people are brave.
So, what about these someones who have used the “b” word for me recently? It’s happened on many occasions and neither of them speaks to each other. Is it purely a coincidence that they all have the same favorite adjective to describe other people?
All ego trips aside, I believe that there is some similarity in the way they perceive me.
And, I think the answer lies in the way I choose to live my life – since that whole quarter life crisis thing that happened a few years ago. During that transitional time, I stumbled upon this quote:
“During some excruciatingly difficult times in my life, it came down to this declaration / mantra: I will do whatever it takes to be happy. That resolve and devotion opened my life up so much wider. The expansion wasn’t entirely comfortable, of course. It meant I had to walk away from some things (brutal). It meant I had to find my edges, go to places I’d avoided, examine if my dreams were still the right size for my soul.” ~Danielle LaPorte, Original source
This quote fundamentally changed the way I live my life.
Going to a blogging conference alone.
Revealing all types of emotions to strangers online.
Performing in a comedy show regardless of being a scared introvert.
Some people call this brave. I call it the “whatever it takes.” These ‘brave’ actions don’t necessarily make me happy, but they are all for the pursuit of happiness and I guess.. they’re worth it.
I know I don’t have to tell you how short life is; I’m sure you have reminders all the time of our brief time here on earth.
So, why spend it doing things you don’t care about?
A few years ago, around the time of this crash, I read a newspaper article about the female pilot on-board. I can’t, for the life of me, find the article online, but I remember a passage from her parents stood out to me. They described the female pilot as passionate about flying and loved being up in the air.
I remember feeling relief from the article that this woman’s death was not in vain. She was doing the thing she loved.
Similarly, this is how I want to live my life – with such passion it’s contagious. I want to live everyday commemorating the “whatever it takes.” I want my obituary to read with such a zest for life that others can’t help, but want to be a part of it.
Poor Caitlin, she keeled over one day while pinning too many pins – but she loved it.
Call it being brave. Call it whatever the *fuck* you want to call it.
But that’s what I want.