“Uncomfortable”

This week, I’m so excited to be linking up with The Chronicles of Chaos’ Write or Die Wednesday.  As I finished the poem I wrote in response to the prompt “What makes you uncomfortable?” I realized that I couldn’t wait to post it.  Because who has patience?  Apparently not I. I hope that you like it, and, also please go check out Mia’s blog!!

photo cred

“Uncomfortable”

Sometimes
I think about Pluto and all the vast space between me and that tiny ball of light once deemed a planet.
I wonder how exactly it must have felt to initially discover something new.
To realize that a small freckle of energy in the sky is not a comet, or an asteroid, or a star in a different galaxy
or an imagination, or magic, or the light from a stranger’s flashlight miles and miles and miles out
but something moving around our sun
so cold and far away
and how it must feel for the status of being a planet to be taken, permanently removed
even though it’s years and years and years later
and Clyde Tombaugh is now gone.

Sometimes
I wonder how many nutter butters it would take to line up from here to Pluto
and if I stepped very lightly on that peanut-shaped cookie trail
could I walk myself to the end of the galaxy and back?
Or would one misstep, the wobbling of my heart
plummet me in to a black hole, the endless darkness of the universe.
And without gravity, would I float for mere seconds
before gray clouds scarred my vision and my mind turned off forever?

Sometimes
when the world feels really big
I go in my dungeon, the vast darkness of my mind
and I pull the levers of my brain
to make the world smaller
which always, never occasionally, takes me to the front porch of an Ohio home
when my age existed in single digits, and I knew all my neighbors’ names.
There was one neighbor who had the last name of a type of bird
one that was consistently hard to remember, even though I always did
and one night when I stared at their house at the corner of the street,
where cars would pass by from the main road,
there was one car that careened into the front window of their home
and when the ambulances arrived, the red light blurred my thoughts
and I never found out if the driver was alive.

Sometimes
I think about the first time you held me in your arms
and how I trembled from the pureness of it all.
The way we laid naked and young
baring ourselves against the sticky cloth of a basement couch
when I thought about if life will ever feel the same way again
or will I be forever bound to the memory of this moment
when death feels like high school graduation,
and when you asked me, and I said yes,
and I wasn’t innocent anymore?

Sometimes
I wonder how I will one day leave this earth
and if it will be a car wreck, or a terminal illness, or a peaceful escape near my 98th birthday, surrounded by a loving family, when my last gasp of breath will be taken from me
and in those last sixty seconds before light from a world beyond takes over
will scenes of Pluto, and flashing ambulances, and teenage sex flutter against the back of my eyelids
like pounding rain against the window sill
on the day when I first encountered all these uncomfortable thoughts
about whether we’re all quickly living or slowly dying?
And even though I knew absolutely none of the answers to the questions I was asking
I walked outside to my car parked on the street
and started driving with the windows down
and the rain still poured
and my favorite music was blaring
and the wind in my hair felt like your breath
and I knew exactly how it feels to really be alive.

 

What’s in my bag?!

Usually, I write my posts for both men and women to enjoy reading.  Even when I wrote my Travel Tips article, including details about what’s in my travel kit, I threw in a few golden nuggets for the men folk.  Because axe body spray and mints are all you need in life, amiright?  But this post – not so much.  So if you are a man and still reading this, consider yourself fair warned. :)

Curiosity is a funny thing.  I think if you ask most women, they will admit to wanting to sacrifice many personal items for just one glance inside another woman’s bag.  What’s her go-to lipstick brand?  How does she keep her hair so shiny? Is there a small mountain of bobby pins and gum wrappers at the bottom, like mine?

I might not be able to solve all of your nosiness woes, but today I’m offering up a sneak peek into what’s normally in my bag – heaps of bobby pins, and all.  And, please, let me know in the comments what you’re toting around so I don’t have to sacrifice my favorite pair of shoes or a right limb hoping for a glance in your purse.  I need some help!

1. The bag. It was pretty terrible going through life without my magenta Longchamp bag.  This was a gift from ole mama years after my time studying abroad in France.  I love it’s size; it’s perfect for weekends away, airport travel and just wandering around town.

2. Panty Liners are one of my favorite things right now.  Forget the image in your head of a ‘clunky diaper,’ liners are lightweight, flexible and seamless – perfect for the tail-end of that time of the month, or when you just need some extra protection. #freshisfierce

3. Hand Sanitizer – A necessity for every situation you could ever find yourself in.

4. A Compact Mirror is my Mother Theresa.  Sometimes angelic, sometimes sweet, and always there to lend a helping hand.

5. The elephant.  Of course, we had to talk about the bobby pins!  Yes – just like you – I always have piles of them at the bottom of every bag, scattered on the floor of my home and out swimming in the unknowns.  My favorite are the miniature sized ones that are perfect for the occasional frequent fly-away’s and loose pieces of hair going awol.

6. So, the other day.  I actually thought about spending money on expensive makeup – like the really nice kind that promises to remove every flaw on your body.  Before spending a bunch of money, I googled the difference between expensive and drugstore makeup and surprisingly learned that most of it has to do with the applicator, brand name (duh) and sometimes the small, tiny particles in the makeup.  Needless to say, I went out and grabbed some nice makeup brushes, and threw one in my bag for touch-ups on the go! Problem solved.

7. Long lash effect.  Some women’s secret weapon is a concealer stick, or a light stroke of powder after a long day.  Mine is a mascara swipe – or two.

8. Hi! Remember when I wrote a love letter to Chapstick?  I always have at least two in my bag.

the real deal.

I was given Carefree acti-fresh panty liners complimentary in exchange for my thoughts on this blog post.  All opinions are entirely my own.