To borrow some lines from Dane Cook, “When you don’t have love in your life, it’s like standing outside in the rain looking into the window of a party that you weren’t invited to attend. But when you ARE in a relationship, it’s like walking around that party looking for your coat thinking how the heck do I get out of here??!” Hehe.
On a somewhat serious note, perhaps if you find yourself in situation #2, you are in a relationship that lacks some legitimate love. But, don’t fret! Mark is here guest posting and talking about ten signs that indicate whether or not you and your partner really got a good thing going on. Read on!
One of the most common questions I get from clients is, “how do I tell if I’m in love?”
Unfortunately, even though it’s a very common question, it’s not something that I’m able to answer easily. Love takes many forms and is often interpreted differently by different people.
With that said, however, I’ve put together a list of signs to look for that might indicate if what you’re feeling for your boyfriend/girlfriend is genuine love…
SIGN #1: You get ‘butterflies’ in your stomach before you see or talk to them. If you’re heading to your partner’s house after a while apart, and you experience ‘butterflies’ (or other similar symptoms, like fidgeting or elevated heart rate, both of which indicate a level of excitement or anxiety), you clearly have a strong attachment to this person!
SIGN #2: You want to tell everyone about your girlfriend / boyfriend. When you’ve found someone you care about deeply, you’ll almost always want to tell others about it. You’ll be excited to tell the world about your partner and how awesome they are.
SIGN #3: You want to spend as much time as you can with them. If you would rather be with your boyfriend or girlfriend more than anyone else — even if that means missing out on fun times with friends or family — it’s a clear indication you have found someone that you really care for.
SIGN #4: Anytime you learn or discover something new, your partner is the first person you share the news with. Whether it’s a promotion at the office, an A+ grade on a school exam, or just a great new pair of shoes you bought from a shop in a back alley…. if you’re in love, your partner will almost always be the first person you want to share the news with.
SIGN #5: You want to know everything you can about them and their life. If you don’t mind hearing about your partner’s favorite uncle and his stamp collection — and any other seemingly boring details or information your partner’s life — it’s a strong indication that you’re really into them!
SIGN #6: When you mentally plan for the future, your current girlfriend / boyfriend is involved. If you’re planning what your life might look like 5 or 10 years from now and you can’t imagine your partner not being by your side, you’ve definitely found someone worth keeping.
SIGN #7: You’re totally comfortable being yourself around this person. People who are truly in love typically feel completely comfortable and at-ease when they’re together with their partner, and aren’t nervous about sharing secrets or ashamed to admit their faults. These are things that come to the surface in a true, loving relationship.
SIGN #8: You get jealous when your partner interacts with other people of the opposite sex. If your romantic feelings for someone are very intense, you’ll find yourself feeling ridiculously jealous at even the thought of your partner with someone else. While you should always keep these feelings of jealousy to yourself and avoid being controlling or possessive, it’s a sign of true love if you find yourself becoming a little jealous over things. It’s instinctual to be very protective of those that matter most to you.
SIGN #9: After only a few hours apart, you begin to miss your partner. Again, this is a clear indication that there’s not many out there that can fill the void that remains when you’re away from your boyfriend or girlfriend.
SIGN #10: You care more about their health and happiness than your own. If you’d spend days on end doing something you hate just because you know it will make your partner happy… then you’re probably very much in love with this person!
Is this list a comprehensive list? No, it’s not, and there may be other signs that indicate you’re feeling ‘true love’.
Unfortunately I can’t tell you one way or another whether it’s real, genuine love that you’re feeling… but if you found yourself nodding at a number of the signs listed above, then chances are pretty good you’ve found someone special.
Mark Belmont, MA, CPT, is a dating coach and editor at LoveLearnings.com. His writing covers numerous relationship & romance topics, including what men want in a girlfriend and signs he’s the one for you.